Today my boyfriend asked me what dysphoria looked like to me. I honestly didn’t know how to answer it, because I try to suppress it, so I’m not very good at listening to myself, and I’m not good with words. I forget things, I lie or change subject.

I don’t experience my dysphoria, it just sometimes peaks it’s ugly head up and tell me my body is horrible and something to be ashamed of. And I keep pushing myself to not let it affect me, ‘cause I don’t want to feel it.

Drawing this makes me dysphoric. It forces me to think about my situation, about my body and my future.

I should probably think about it some more. It’s not healthy not to feel your feelings, I think.

And about the surgeries.. I want top-surgery, but I can’t afford it right now. I fear bottom surgery because it can’t give me what I want, so for me, it wouldn’t be worth it, and that upsets me.

ftm
dysphoria
transgender
FtM Transgender
feels
  1. rachtheroach reblogged this from sociolab
  2. mejiasilvia reblogged this from sociolab
  3. sociolab reblogged this from genderisnotsex
  4. pesthouse reblogged this from alex-sin
  5. alex-sin reblogged this from genderisnotsex
  6. genderisnotsex reblogged this from remyrawr
  7. willowenigma reblogged this from so-many-genders
  8. my-ftm-journey reblogged this from am-i-trans
  9. toku-hanareta-hoshi reblogged this from livingaschristian
  10. infernicorn reblogged this from livingaschristian
  11. kcs-other-world reblogged this from ourlifeastrans
  12. breakingwreckords reblogged this from dinosaur-nutella-sandwiches
  13. ourhorizon reblogged this from livingmycrazymuscularlife
  14. livingmycrazymuscularlife reblogged this from patrickfukinstar
  15. freerunaway reblogged this from patrickfukinstar
  16. foundbutforeverlost reblogged this from youaremyrisk
  17. patrickfukinstar reblogged this from youaremyrisk
  18. youaremyrisk reblogged this from padawancourt87
  19. padawancourt87 reblogged this from livingaschristian
  20. veganpoopxvx reblogged this from livingaschristian and added:
    So relevant.
  21. dinosaur-nutella-sandwiches reblogged this from livingaschristian
  22. ashertreadwell reblogged this from livingaschristian
  23. theliammarkfiles reblogged this from livingaschristian